Friends with a Competitor: Why I Choose Collaboration Over Fear
Most people avoid their competitors. I invited mine into a quarterly Zoom call.
What started as a simple feedback conversation turned into one of the most helpful and inspiring rhythms in my business and my growth as a founder.
I used to use a platform for my business that was extremely helpful when I was just starting out. I had searched for something like it for a long time but couldn’t find anything that fully fit what I needed—until this company came along.
They had everything I was looking for: the frontend, the backend, and the data-driven tools that helped me coach more effectively. But what really sold me wasn’t the features. It was a call with someone on their team who listened. Really listened.
He asked questions. He pointed me toward what mattered most based on how I was using it. That experience meant a lot to me, and over the next four years, that kind of care didn’t stop.
Every time I had a question, a feature request, or an issue, they responded with urgency and empathy. I didn’t feel like a customer. I felt like a partner.
At one point, they hit a major technical issue and the platform was down for a week. As frustrating as that was, they emailed quickly, kept us informed, and handled it with transparency. That’s when I realized something wild: the guy who had been helping me this whole time? The one I’d been emailing, calling, and troubleshooting with?
He wasn’t just on the support team. He was the CEO.
That kind of humility blew me away.
Eventually, I came to a crossroads. I was using multiple tools to bring my vision to life, and I realized I needed to build my own platform.
So I reached out to the CEO, told him I was stepping away, and thanked him. He asked if we could hop on a call just to get some feedback. We had a great conversation, and at the end I asked:
“Would you be open to hopping on a call once a quarter? I think we could learn a lot from each other.”
He said yes. And that’s what we’ve been doing ever since.
Now every few months, we jump on a call. He’s ahead of me in his journey, so I ask questions about the early stages of building an app. He asks me about new features and structures they’re considering and how I would approach them. It’s become one of my favorite rhythms. We challenge each other, ask real questions, and walk away sharper every time.
One conversation in particular gave me a wave of unexpected relief.
I asked him, “What was it like launching your app in year one? Did you see great success?”
He said, “It was terrible.”
That answer lifted so much pressure off me.
He went on to share the story of that first year—how there wasn’t some magic launch moment. No secret formula. Just a team staying focused, learning constantly, and building brick by brick. That reminder stuck with me.
A friend asked me recently, “Aren’t you scared he’s going to steal your ideas?”
Honestly, that didn’t even cross my mind. But I’m not worried about that.
I’m not competing with him. I’m competing with myself.
I want him to win. I want his company to grow, because when he gets better, it inspires me to get better too.
Let’s say he does use one of my ideas. So what? We’re all borrowing ideas in some form anyway. If anything, it’ll push me to be more creative, more thoughtful, and more innovative.
The market is massive. There’s room for great companies to coexist and raise the standard. That’s what makes the journey fun. That’s what makes me grateful I made the call. I didn’t leave it feeling threatened. I left it inspired and ready to get back to work.
Here’s why this has been so helpful for me:
It reminds me the world doesn’t revolve around my business.
When you collaborate with someone in your space, it forces you to zoom out. There are thousands of people building great things. That’s not something to fear—it’s something to celebrate.It’s more fulfilling to serve others than to serve your ego.
I don’t want to protect “my thing” so badly that I forget to be a generous human. Holding everything tightly makes you suspicious and defensive. That’s no way to live or lead.You need people outside your circle to make you better.
Competitors often see things your team doesn’t. They bring different approaches, perspectives, and experiences. That input is invaluable if you want to grow.
Does this open you up to potentially getting hurt? Yes.
But so does isolation. You risk more when you never take the risk. And in my experience, the reward is worth it.
Final Thought:
Don’t let fear of competition shrink your world.
Some of your greatest collaborators might be the people you once saw as threats.
Reach out. Ask questions. Be generous.
That mindset shift has changed everything for me.