I’m Too Distracted to Be Present
I can’t remember the last time I forgot about my phone.
Even when I set it down, part of my mind stays tethered to it, waiting for the next vibration, alert, or reminder.
I sat down to read for half an hour — just thirty minutes of focus.
By minute seven, I had checked my phone twice, added a reminder to my calendar, and started thinking about what I’d do once I finished reading.
Nothing urgent happened. My brain just couldn’t stay.
I wish I was exaggerating, but that’s my real scorecard for focus lately.
I knew I wanted to write about presence this week because it’s something I’m working on as a leader, but honestly, I felt underprepared.
So I did some research, and what I found blew me away.
The average person can only focus on one screen for about 47 seconds before switching to something else.
Twenty years ago, it was two and a half minutes.
That’s insane.
We touch our phones over 2,600 times a day.
We’ve trained ourselves to live in constant motion.
Our brains are always on alert, waiting for the next text, the next email, the next notification.
Even when we’re still, our attention isn’t.
Dr. Gloria Mark, who has studied attention for over two decades, says this isn’t just distraction — it’s conditioning.
Every time we switch tasks, we leave behind what she calls attention residue.
Part of our mind stays stuck on what we just left.
So when we move on, we’re actually carrying clutter from everything before.
No wonder it feels hard to focus, pray, read, or even finish a conversation.
Our attention span has been stretched thin, quietly shaping how we grow, lead, and think.
Distraction doesn’t just make us less productive. It makes us less present with the people who matter.
We’ve mistaken motion for progress.
What Distraction Does to the Brain
Here’s what’s wild: every time you switch tasks, it takes your brain about 23 minutes to fully refocus. That’s a real number from researchers at the University of California.
So if you’re interrupted five or six times an hour (which is normal for most people), you’re never fully focused on anything.
Your brain is constantly rebooting.
This is why we feel so tired even when we haven’t done anything physical.
The mind burns energy trying to restart.
And every notification, every glance at the phone, sends a small hit of dopamine that trains your brain to love distraction.
We’ve trained our brains to chase the next thing, and it’s showing up everywhere.
If we can’t focus, we can’t lead.
The leaders who learn to slow down will be the ones who keep growing.
This is why rest doesn’t feel restful.
The mind doesn’t know how to be still anymore.
Presence is what happens when you stop rushing and start paying attention.
Why We Resist Being Present
This month I’ve been doing 30 minutes of focused reading every day. It sounds simple, but I’ll be honest — it’s hard.
By minute seven, I want to check my phone or think about what I need to do next.
It’s not because I don’t want to grow. It’s because stillness feels uncomfortable.
Our brains love easy rewards. Every scroll, every ping, every like gives a little burst of dopamine.
Presence doesn’t work like that. It’s slower. It’s quieter. But it’s deeper.
When I push through the urge to move, something happens.
The noise fades. My thoughts settle.
That’s when I actually learn. That’s when growth happens.
We don’t resist presence because we’re weak. We resist it because it makes us face ourselves.
But if you want to grow, you have to stay long enough to feel uncomfortable.
That’s where transformation begins.
Most people aren’t addicted to their phones. They’re addicted to avoiding themselves.
What Practicing Presence Looks Like for Me
Every morning, I’ve started sitting in silence for five minutes.
It’s one of the simplest things I do in Growdie, but also one of the hardest.
As I’m finishing this blog, I’m at 62 reps of morning silence.
After 62 reps, I should be great at it, right?
Wrong.
Just this morning, I made it 45 seconds before I was ready to quit.
I caught myself thinking about everything but the quiet I was supposed to be sitting in.
When I finally made it through all five minutes, I didn’t feel peaceful. I felt exposed.
I realized how loud my mind had become, how much noise I let in every day.
Most mornings, those five minutes feel like a mirror I don’t want to look into.
But there have also been mornings where five minutes felt like nothing. I actually enjoyed the stillness.
It gives me a glimpse of what’s possible, of what this could become after 300 reps or more.
Regardless of how I feel, I’m staying with it. The reward is presence, and it’s something I’ll continue to fight for.
That’s what this whole process is about.
It’s not about perfection.
It’s about showing up.
I’m not trying to master silence.
I’m trying to rewire my brain, one rep at a time.
And that’s what I want for every leader reading this: not control, not balance, but the ability to stay when your mind wants to run.
You can’t grow what you can’t stay with.
Why the World Needs Present Leaders
This is where leadership comes in.
Presence sits at the center of every leadership skill you have.
A single focused conversation can restore direction faster than a week of scattered meetings.
People don’t quit jobs as often as they quit distracted leaders.
When a leader listens, people open up.
When a leader is distracted, people shut down.
You can’t expect people to give their best attention if you never give them yours.
Gallup found that teams with engaged, attentive leaders are almost 60% more engaged themselves.
But only one in three employees believe their manager actually listens.
That gap is huge. It’s the difference between a team that’s alive and a team that’s just showing up.
Presence rebuilds what distraction breaks down.
It turns communication into connection, and connection into commitment.
A leader who listens builds culture faster than one who just talks.
And organizations that prioritize deep work outperform those addicted to busy work, not because they work harder, but because they think longer.
Presence has always marked great leaders. Now, it’s their competitive edge.
What’s Hurting Our Focus
Our attention is under attack.
Here are the biggest culprits:
Constant social media — your brain learns that scrolling = reward.
Multitasking — every switch burns focus.
Notifications — even when you ignore them, your brain doesn’t.
Short-form content — quick hits train you to crave speed.
Exhaustion — a tired brain can’t focus, no matter how hard you try.
Every one of these trains your brain to expect interruption.
And yes, addiction plays a role.
Every ping becomes a loop: cue → anticipation → response → relief.
But even without addiction, our environment keeps us overstimulated and under-recovered.
The reality is, distraction feels normal now.
But normal isn’t the goal. Growth is.
Distraction doesn’t just steal focus. It steals purpose.
How to Rebuild Your Focus
The good news is, attention is trainable.
Here’s what helps me and the leaders I interact with:
Deep reading — one page at a time, no phone nearby.
Prayer and reflection — stillness strengthens awareness.
Exercise — move your body, clear your mind.
Nature — walk outside, fresh air resets attention.
Focused reps — track your growth in Growdie. Each rep trains your mind to stay.
Rest — sleep is your reset button. Don’t skip it.
Focus doesn’t return overnight. It’s rebuilt through repetition.
Every one of these habits does the same thing — they force you to stay.
Stay with the thought. Stay with the task. Stay with the person in front of you.
Each time you stay, you grow stronger.
Presence isn’t something you achieve. It’s something you practice every day.
Why I Love Growdie
I’ve been using Growdie every single day since the beginning of the year.
And I can honestly say this: I like social growth more than social media.
Growdie is growing slowly — and I’m good with that.
Because the people I get to grow with have changed me this year.
I’ve built habits I used to only talk about.
I’ve broken ones I used to make excuses for.
Not because of willpower, but because I see the reps people are putting in every day.
It’s encouraging.
I love opening Growdie and seeing what others are building.
It’s slowly giving me my attention back — something social media never could.
The more I use it, the more focused I’ve become.
Growdie has made me more effective in my day-to-day life, and I mean that.
I’d rather watch the journey of someone quietly building than another highlight reel.
Show me the boring stuff over the quick hits.
This isn’t a community about looking impressive.
It’s a place for people who are done living distracted, people showing up, putting in the reps, and choosing the long game over the quick fix.
Growdie is for people who are done scrolling and ready to start growing.
That’s what Growdie is about: healthy, sustainable growth that lasts.
Your Challenge
If this hit home, try this:
Take five minutes of silence each morning for the next five days.
No music. No phone. Just you.
Log it in Growdie.
See what happens when you replace distraction with presence, and choose to stay instead of scroll.
Watch what it does to your focus, your mood, and your leadership.
Don’t do it to be productive.
Do it to remember what focus feels like.
You don’t need to master presence.
You just need to practice it.
The Takeaway
Presence isn’t optional anymore.
If you don’t build it, the world will take it from you.
Every scroll steals focus.
Every notification rewires your brain to crave noise.
Every time you avoid silence, you’re choosing comfort over clarity.
Most people will live distracted and call it normal.
Leaders can’t afford to.
You can’t grow what you can’t stay with.
You can’t lead what you can’t focus on.
You can’t build anything that lasts if your attention’s always somewhere else.
That’s why presence matters — because distraction destroys everything faster than failure ever could.
Start small.
Five minutes of silence.
One focused rep.
One decision to stay.
That’s where growth begins — one focused moment at a time.
And the leaders who learn to stay will be the ones who build what lasts. 💯