The Impact People Pleasing Has on Your Growth

For as long as I can remember, I’ve struggled with pleasing people.

For a long time, I didn’t think much of it. I told myself it wasn’t a big deal. If anything, I thought it only affected me.

That’s not true.

People pleasing doesn’t just hurt you. It changes how you show up, how you make decisions, and how people experience you.

Almost a decade ago, I read something that forced me to take this seriously. It was about self-awareness, and it introduced a simple matrix with two dimensions: internal self awareness and external self awareness.

Four types:

Aware
Introspector
Pleaser
Seeker

The one that stuck with me was the Pleaser.

High external awareness. Low internal awareness.

The description:

“They can be so focused on appearing a certain way to others that they overlook what matters to them. Over time, they make choices that are not in service of their own success and fulfillment.”

That hit me then.

It hits harder now.

Because self awareness is not something you figure out once and move on. It is something you fight for. And the more responsibility you take on, the more it gets tested.

Lately, I have felt that tension again. It is harder to stay aware. Easier to drift. Easier to default to what people expect instead of what is actually right.

If you are honest, you have probably felt that too.

Maybe you lean Pleaser like me.
Maybe you are an Introspector, clear on yourself but not open to feedback.
Maybe you are a Seeker, still trying to figure it all out.

Either way, this is not neutral.

Where you fall in this matrix directly impacts how you grow.

How This Quietly Slows Your Growth

This is not just about personality. It shows up in your decisions.

You start making the wrong calls.

You climb a success ladder on the wrong wall.

You stall without realizing it.

You weaken trust over time.

This is why it matters.

Self-awareness is a direction setting tool.

If it is off, everything downstream is off.

So What Do You Do About It?

This is where most people stay stuck.

They recognize it but do not change anything.

Here is how to actually work on it based on where you fall:

Pleaser (High External, Low Internal)

You are led by perception more than conviction.

Before you say yes to anything, ask:
“If no one knew I did this, would I still do it?”

At the end of each week, write down three decisions you made for approval instead of alignment.

Then train it daily. Say no to one thing a day for the next two weeks. Even small things. Build the muscle.

Introspector (High Internal, Low External)

You trust your own perspective too much.

Pick one or two people and ask them weekly:
“Where am I off right now?”

Then stop defending it.

If you hear the same feedback twice, it is real. Adjust.

Seeker (Low Internal, Low External)

You do not have clarity yet, and that is okay. But you cannot stay here.

Stop waiting to figure yourself out.

Build clarity through action.

Learn something. Apply it the same day.

At the end of each week, ask:
“What did I do this week that shows who I am becoming?”

Aware (High Internal, High External)

This is where you want to be, but it does not stay without effort.

At the end of each day, ask:

What did I do well?
Where was I off?
What do I adjust tomorrow?

Then zoom out quarterly and reset your direction.

If nothing is stretching you, your awareness will fade.

Now Prove It 💯

Self awareness is not about knowing yourself once.

It is about adjusting yourself daily.

If your decisions stay the same, so will your life.

10 Reflection Questions Most People Don’t Want to Answer

Most people don’t spend much time reflecting.

It takes more mental energy than most people want to give.

Reflection forces you to slow down, pay attention, and think honestly about your life.

And if you do it well, it can be exhausting.

Because it exposes the gap between who you say you are and how you actually live.

Once you see that gap clearly, you can’t ignore it.

You have to decide:

Keep living the same way…

or actually make a change.

Reflection doesn’t solve your problems overnight. It helps you see what you need to work on over time.

If you don’t spend time reflecting, you won’t know yourself.

And if you don’t know yourself, you won’t lead yourself well.

And if you can’t lead yourself, you’re not leading anyone else either.

Reflection builds awareness.

That’s where change starts.

Without awareness, you can stay busy but not grow.

You can keep doing more but still be the same person.

Choose one question below and sit with it. Look at your actions, not your intentions, and let it show you something.

• If I could clone myself, would I respect the way I live daily?

• What patterns do I keep repeating that are holding me back?

• What lesson have I “learned” but still don’t live out?

• When I fail, do I respond like a leader or make excuses?

• What priority am I avoiding that would actually move my life forward?

• What habits are shaping who I’m becoming, do I like that person?

• What strengths am I neglecting that would give me an edge?

• What feedback do I avoid that I probably need the most?

• Which relationships are draining me, distracting me, or keeping me stuck?

• What kind of person do my actions consistently show I am?

These questions help you see clearly. And once you see, you have a choice: stay the same or make a change. 💯

How to Mentor Someone For a Year

Why does the idea of mentoring someone for a year scare people?

I’ve seen two reasons people hesitate. They feel under qualified or overwhelmed.

If you feel under qualified, waiting to be perfect means you’ll never start. Learning happens by doing.

If it feels overwhelming, there’s a good chance you haven’t learned how to build yourself yet. Focus on your own growth first. But if you’ve done that work and you’re ready, what you need is structure.

This is the structure that works for me:

Daily. Weekly. Monthly. Quarterly. Yearly.

Before We Get Into It

People glamorize mentorship.

They think it’s going to be full of big moments and life-changing conversations. That’s not what it is.

The craziest thing is, growth never comes when you expect it.

I remember being on a call with someone I was mentoring. I didn’t say anything crazy. Nothing profound. And all of a sudden, he just said, “Yo! It just clicked!”

That moment stuck with me.

It reminded me of my role.

I’m not the reason they grow. I’m creating the space where growth happens.

I’ve mentored people where it took months to even build real connection. I’ve mentored people who didn’t see breakthrough until the very end. I’ve mentored people who didn’t see it until after we were done.

So if you think you’re going to be the one who changes their life, you need to adjust your perspective.

It’s not about you. It’s about what you’re planting.

And some of what you plant won’t grow until later.

If you don’t understand that, you’ll quit early.

If you do understand it, you’ll stay consistent.

Daily: Are you living it?

I want them tracking. Not perfectly, just consistently.

Without something to look at, it’s easy to drift.

I’m not just looking for activity. I’m paying attention to alignment.

In any given day I’m trying to answer this question:

“Did you get after what you said you would?”

If their actions don’t match that, we address it.

That’s the work.

Weekly: What’s really going on?

We have a weekly call.

Sometimes it’s quick. Sometimes it goes longer.

I’m not running through a checklist. I’m trying to understand where they’re at.

I’ll start with:

“What’s been going on this week?”

From there, the conversation goes where it needs to go.

What’s been weighing on them.

Where they feel stuck.

What they’re excited about.

I want them to feel like they can talk and be real.

If they’re not honest, we’re not getting anywhere.

Monthly: What are you learning?

We grab coffee or lunch.

I’m not trying to give a bunch of advice here. I’m listening.

They talk more than I do.

I’m asking questions that help them think.

• “What’s been off lately?”

• “Where do you feel like you’re not showing up how you want to?”

• “What do you know you need to change, but haven’t yet?”

I want them to hear themselves.

Clarity usually shows up when they do.

Quarterly: Who are you becoming?

We spend more time together. A half day, something different.

Change the environment.

People open up more here.

I ask bigger questions.

• “If nothing changes, where does your life actually go from here?”

• “What are you avoiding right now?”

• “What’s one thing you know you need to do, but you keep putting off?”

I share more too.

They see how I handle hard seasons in real time.

That matters.

Yearly: Look at who you’ve become!

All year, I’m keeping notes.

Wins. Challenges. Shifts in how they think. Moments that mattered.

So when we sit down at the end of the year, it’s not vague.

I can point to real change.

Where they started. Where they are now.

Most people don’t slow down enough to see that.

This is where they do.

Start your mentoring journey now

Mentoring is one of the most rewarding things I do as a leader.

But you won’t experience that if you don’t step up.

You don’t need permission. You don’t need to be perfect.

You have opportunities in front of you right now. You’re just not taking them.

If you want to lead people, this is one of the clearest ways to start.

Pick one area. Find one person. Commit to a year.

That’s it. 💯

Achievement vs. Becoming

You ever feel like you’re putting in effort, but when you step back, not much is actually different?

I know exactly what that is, and I know what causes it, and if I’m being honest, I still find myself in it. Last week was one of those weeks.

I wake up at 4am most days, so by the time the afternoon hits, I’m tired.

For me, it’s that 2pm window.

That’s where I usually fall off.

Some days I stay focused and get through it. Other days I don’t. And when I don’t, I can feel it.

What I keep coming back to is this.

There are two ways to approach growth. One is focused on achieving things and the other is focused on becoming someone.

Achievement focuses on what you get done. Becoming focuses on who you are day to day.

When I’m thinking about achievement, I’m focused on the day.

Can I push through? Can I stay productive? Can I get everything done?

And when I do, it feels like a win.

But it doesn’t fix the problem.

Because the next day I’m right back in the same spot, dealing with the same thing again.

The difference shows up in what you do when nothing is forcing you. That’s usually where things fall off.

For me, that’s the afternoon.

If I don’t change how I handle that part of my day, I already know how it’s going to go.

I’ve started realizing I can’t just rely on pushing through it.

I have to actually deal with it.

How I structure my day. How I manage my energy. What I do when I start to feel that drop.

Lately I’ve been trying to handle that part of the day differently. Not just push through it, but actually plan for it a little better and pay attention to what helps and what doesn’t.

I’m not perfect with it, but I can tell when I handle it well, it changes the rest of my day.

Because if I don’t, I’ll just keep repeating it.

Have a good day. Then a bad one. Then try to reset again.
And if I don’t deal with it, it starts to show up in ways I don’t like.

And it’s not just that one area.

This shows up anywhere you’re inconsistent.

Where you can have good moments, but it doesn’t really carry over.

That’s been the shift for me.

I can get a lot done and still not fix the actual problem.

If you want to make it real, look at your last 30 days.

Forget what you meant to do and just look at what actually happened.

Where have you been consistent?

Where do you tend to fall off?

That pattern will tell you more than anything you say you’re working on.

Achievement can get you going, but if nothing changes in how you actually live day to day, you’re going to keep running into the same things.

At some point, it’s not a knowledge problem. It’s the same gap showing up again.

If You Only Grow One Way, You’re Capped

You don’t have a growth problem.

You have a blind spot.

Most people grow one way.

And it’s exactly why they plateau.

Some people come alive in community. They think better in conversation, they push harder when they’re around others, and they gain momentum from being in the room. You can feel it when they’re in the right environment.

Then there are people who don’t rely on any of that.

They’ll show up on their own. They’ll get their reps in whether anyone sees it or not. They just handle it.

Both are real.

But both have a gap.

If you’re wired for community, you probably recognize this.

You’re at your best in the room.

You think clearer.

You push harder.

But take the room away… it’s different.

The urgency drops.

The reps don’t come as naturally.

Things start to slip.

You care. That’s not the issue.

You’ve just gotten used to growing with people around you.

If you’re wired for discipline, you’ll recognize this.

You don’t need anyone to show up.

You handle your work.

You stay consistent.

But over time, you start doing everything on your own.

You’re not getting challenged.

You’re not seeing your blind spots.

You’re solid… but you’re not stretching.

Most people don’t need to change how they grow.
They need to add what they’re missing.

The people who keep growing learn how to do both.

They can show up on their own

and step into a room and get sharpened.

They don’t rely on one or avoid the other.

They’ve built both.

This is where most growth advice misses.

You’ll hear “find community.”

You’ll hear “be more disciplined.”

But no one talks about what happens when you lean too hard on one.

And most people think accountability fixes it.

But the way most people use accountability isn’t enough.

They treat it like a babysitter.

“Did you do it?”

“Yeah, kind of.”

“Alright, keep going.”

Nothing really changes.

Accountability without proof is easy to fake.

That’s why proof matters.

When you show your reps, you own it.

People can see it.

Now they can challenge it. Ask questions. Push you.

That’s what creates urgency.

You’re not just saying who you want to be.

You’re either living it… or you’re not.

What actually drives growth is proof.

Your reps are real, and people can see them.

It’s not what you meant to do. It’s what actually happened.

If you lean on community, proof forces discipline.

You can’t just talk about it. You have to show it.

If you lean on discipline, proof forces community.

Your growth isn’t hidden. It gets seen, challenged, sharpened.

That’s where things start to change.

Zoom out.

The leaders who actually grow aren’t waiting for motivation or the right environment.

They show up by themselves.

And they let other people challenge them.

They’ve built both.

Over time, that’s what separates people.

Some can only grow when everything lines up.

Others can grow anywhere.

So here’s the question.

Which one are you?

The one who shows up when the room is there…

or the one who avoids the room altogether?

And who actually sees your reps?

Because if no one sees it,

you’re probably getting away with more than you think.

Everyone Struggles. Not Everyone Stays.

Do you know how to struggle well?

Actually struggle well.

Because if you’re serious about growth, struggle isn’t optional.

It’s required.

What is Struggle?

Struggle is the tension between where you are and where you’re trying to go.

It’s the resistance you feel when your current habits can’t support your desired future.

It shows up when:

• You don’t feel like doing the reps

• You face something you’ve been avoiding

• You try to change, but your old patterns fight back

• You lose momentum and have to start again

• You’re consistent… but not seeing results yet

• You know what to do… but still don’t do it

Struggle is not failure.

Struggle is friction.

It’s what you feel when you’re actually pushing against something.

And that’s where change starts.

Why Struggle is Healthy

Most people think struggle means something is wrong.

I think it means something is working.

If there’s no tension, there’s no change.
If there’s no resistance, there’s no growth.

You don’t build strength without resistance.
You don’t build discipline without discomfort.

Struggle forces you to get honest about where you are.

It forces you to decide who you actually want to be.

It forces you to do the reps when it’s not convenient.

You show up when you don’t feel like showing up.

Why People Avoid Struggle

Most people don’t avoid struggle because they’re lazy.

They avoid it because it exposes them.

Struggle reveals the gap between who you say you are and what you actually do.

And that’s uncomfortable.

So instead of leaning in, people:

• Distract themselves

• Stay in what’s familiar

• Talk about growth instead of doing it

• Start over instead of pushing through

We’ve gotten really good at avoiding the very thing that would grow us.

We want progress without pressure.
Growth without resistance.
Results without reps.

It doesn’t work like that.

What It Looks Like to Struggle Well

Struggling well doesn’t mean you enjoy it.

It means you know how to respond when it shows up.

You stay in it.
You don’t run when it gets hard. You keep showing up.

You tell the truth.
No excuses. No hiding. You own where you are.

You simplify.
When it feels overwhelming, you focus on the next rep.

You stay consistent.
Not perfect. Just consistent enough to keep moving.

Where Most People Fold

You wake up and don’t feel like doing it.

Nothing is exciting.
No motivation.
No momentum.

You’ve already missed a couple days.

And now it’s easier to say, “I’ll start fresh next week.”

Struggling well is not starting over.

It’s logging the rep anyway.

It’s going on the run even if it’s slower.
It’s opening your laptop even if you don’t feel sharp.
It’s having the conversation you’ve been avoiding.

No reset.

Just doing what you said you were going to do.

The Real Question

You don’t get to choose if you struggle.

You get to choose how you respond to it.

So the real question is:

Do you know how to struggle well?

Most people don’t fail because they can’t grow.

They fail because they don’t know how to stay in it. 

So stay in it. 💯

Just Show Up

One of the biggest things I see people struggle with is simply showing up.

They want to talk about optimization, systems, and the perfect plan.

But the real issue is much simpler.

They’re not showing up consistently.

We can worry about how you show up along the way.

That’s what accountability is for.

The community will give you feedback.

We’ll challenge you.

We’ll help you improve.

But first, you have to show up.

Because if you don’t show up, the growth will not happen.

You can lie to yourself all you want.

You can make excuses.

You can say you’re busy.

But growth doesn’t care how you feel.

Growth responds to reps.

And reps only happen when you show up.

Most people get in their own way.

They wait until they feel ready.

They wait until motivation comes back.

They wait until the moment feels right.

Meanwhile there are leaders lapping them just by showing up.

That’s the culture we’re building with Grow or Die.

A group of leaders who show up for their growth.

Who show up for each other.

Who understands that leadership is built through daily reps.

So before you worry about doing it perfectly…

Just show up. 💯

What 203 Days of Silence Taught Me

I didn’t plan on sitting in silence for 203 days.

It started as a 30 day experiment inside Growdie. I already had a strong morning routine, but I realized almost everything I was doing had noise attached to it.

Music while I read.
An audiobook during my workout.
A phone call or Marco Polo on my drives.

One day I thought, What if I just tried starting the day in silence?

So I decided to add it to my morning routine for 30 days. And it impacted me more than I thought it would. Silence started revealing things about me I didn’t know I needed to see.

Now it has become an anchor in my mornings. I don’t do anything until I sit in silence for at least five minutes.

Here is what 203 days of silence has shown me.

I like multitasking too much

Silence slowed everything down.

Without something playing in the background, I noticed how often I try to stack things together just to feel productive. I would combine activities instead of being fully present in one moment.

Silence reminded me that focus is a skill.

I try to control things I cannot control

When everything is quiet, your mind starts wandering.

I noticed how often my thoughts drifted toward things outside my control. Outcomes. Situations. How things might play out. Silence exposed how much energy I was spending on things I could not actually change.

That realization has helped me let more things go.

When silence is hard, something is going on mentally

Some mornings silence feels easy.

Other mornings it feels restless. My mind wants to run somewhere else. I have started to notice those mornings usually mean something deeper is going on.

Silence has become a signal. When it is hard to sit still, it usually means there is something I need to face.

Silence showed me how much I avoid discomfort

Without noise to escape to, you have to deal with what is there.

Thoughts come up. Feelings come up. Sometimes things I would rather ignore show up. Normally I could distract myself and move on.

Silence does not let you do that. And honestly, that has been one of the most helpful parts.

Silence puts life into perspective

Some mornings I sit there and remind myself of something simple.

I am a human being sitting on a planet spinning in space. Everyone else is just living their life too. Waking up. Eating. Struggling. Figuring things out the same way I am.

It brings everything back into perspective. The things that feel huge often are not as big as I make them.

And it reminds me how much there is to be grateful for.

I did not expect silence to become part of my life like this.

But after 203 days, I can say this. Silence is helping shape the man I want to become.

It slows me down.
It clears my mind.
It keeps me grounded.

And because of that, I do not plan on stopping anytime soon. 💯

Would You Follow You?

If you could clone yourself, would you follow you?

I’ve been sitting with that question all week.

What would it actually feel like to follow me? 🤔

Would I trust my decisions?

Would I feel steady under my leadership?

Would I feel challenged? Supported? Clear?

That question has exposed strengths…and gaps.

It’s easy to think leadership is about the spotlight.

But strong leadership has depth.

Depth with yourself.

Depth with people.

And depth is what makes leadership sustainable.

If we want to lead for decades, we have to build the kind of leadership someone would actually choose to follow.

Here’s what I believe shapes that kind of leader.

Humility > Ego

Humility is knowing the world doesn’t revolve around you.

It’s not shrinking yourself.

It’s not pretending you have nothing to offer.

It’s simply understanding you are not the center.

Ego constantly asks:

“How does this affect me?”

“How do I look?”

“Do I get credit?”

Humility asks:

“What does the team need?”

“What serves the mission?”

“How do I elevate others?”

I’ve had moments where I wanted to control the room.

Where I wanted to make sure my voice carried the most weight.

And I’ve also seen what happens when I step back and let someone else shine. The team gets stronger.

Ego protects image.

Humility builds trust.

If you can’t move your ego out of the way, people may follow your title. But they won’t follow your heart.

Lift Others > Lift Yourself

Servitude is a posture.

It’s intentionally looking for ways to lift and strengthen the people around you.

It’s easy to serve when it’s visible.

It’s harder when no one sees it.

I’ve learned this the hard way. There were seasons where I thought I was leading well because I was casting vision loudly. I wasn’t slowing down to actually help people execute it.

At work, it may mean investing time in someone who can’t give you anything back.

At home, it may mean stepping into responsibility without being asked.

You won’t consistently lift others unless you’re actively looking for opportunities to do so.

That requires awareness.

And awareness requires care.

Proof > Intentions

Integrity is alignment.

It’s when your actions match your words.

I’ve felt the tension of overcommitting. Saying yes too quickly. Wanting to be seen as capable. Then realizing I stretched beyond what I could actually deliver.

Integrity forces you to slow down.

If you say you value family, your calendar should reflect it.

If you say you value growth, your habits should reflect it.

If you say you value excellence, your preparation should reflect it.

Leaders don’t usually implode because of one catastrophic failure.

They erode because of small inconsistencies.

Integrity closes the gap between who you say you are and how you actually live.

Reps > Motivation

Consistency is clarity plus repetition.

Most people don’t struggle with motivation.

They struggle with repetition.

Consistency is deciding what matters and showing up for it again and again.

There have been seasons where I felt “on fire.”

High energy. Big momentum.

There have also been seasons where I didn’t feel it at all.

Reps carried me when motivation didn’t.

Weekly check-ins.

Daily disciplines.

Follow-ups.

Preparation.

Consistency builds trust because it removes unpredictability.

When people know what to expect from you, they can rest under your leadership.

Trust compounds.

Most leadership failures aren’t explosions. They’re slow leaks.

Relationship > Transaction

Leadership is relational.

Being relational isn’t about being liked.

It’s about knowing the value you bring and offering it generously while also identifying and drawing out the value in others.

There was a time when I thought connection meant being impressive.

I’ve learned it actually means being invested.

It’s remembering what someone told you last month.

It’s following up.

It’s asking questions and actually listening.

When people feel known, they lean in.

Connection creates equity.

Equity gives your leadership weight.

I’ve walked into rooms before thinking about who I needed to meet. I’ve walked into other rooms thinking about who I could serve. Those two mindsets create two completely different kinds of interactions.

Honesty > Hiding

Vulnerability is self-aware honesty.

I used to feel like I needed to have it all together to lead well.

But I’ve realized something. Pretending you’re fine doesn’t inspire confidence. It creates distance.

There have been moments where I’ve had to say,

“I missed that.”

“I need help.”

“I’m still growing here.”

Instead of weakening leadership, it deepened it.

Reflection is a leadership discipline.

If you can’t see your own gaps, you will eventually lead blind.

Honesty builds depth.

Hiding builds fragility.

Conviction > Charisma

Inspiration is embodiment.

Yes, words matter.

Tone matters.

Vision matters.

But the deepest inspiration comes from alignment.

Anyone can deliver a powerful message once.

Few people live it consistently.

There’s a difference between someone repeating something they heard and someone expressing something that is already inside them.

I’ve felt that difference.

When growth is real in you, it carries weight.

When it’s borrowed, it feels hollow.

People don’t just want your advice.

They want your example.

When your actions, language, and life align, people don’t just feel motivated.

They feel conviction.

This Is Not Plug and Play

This is not a formula.

You don’t install these qualities and suddenly become a leader for decades.

Leadership erodes slowly.

It strengthens slowly too.

Most people reflect on their leadership when something breaks.

The best leaders reflect on it regularly.

You don’t have to fix everything overnight.

You won’t fall apart overnight either.

Little by little, your habits shape your character.

Your character shapes your leadership.

So ask yourself:

Would you follow you for a year?

Would you follow you for a decade?

Would you trust your leadership long term?

If the answer isn’t fully yes yet, that’s ok.

You now have clarity.

And clarity is where growth begins.

If you care about healthy, sustainable leadership, that’s what we’re building inside Growdie.

Decades > Days.

Let’s build the kind of leadership people would actually choose to follow. 💯

Collaboration > Comparison

Isn’t it wild how today’s world practically runs on comparison?

You open your feed.

Someone is lifting heavier.

Someone is scaling faster.

Someone is traveling more.

It’s so easy, almost automatic, to measure yourself against them.

But comparison robs you.

It steals energy.

It drains creativity.

It quietly kills joy.

And underneath it all is this subtle lie:

There is not enough for all of us.

As if someone else winning somehow means you are losing.

But different strengths mean different paths.

Different paths mean different impact.

So what if instead of measuring ourselves against each other, we amplified each other?

That’s what collaboration does.

Collaboration is not just exchanging tasks.

It shapes who you become.

It is choosing to offer your strengths first.

It is trusting that over time you will grow from someone else’s wisdom.

It is playing a long game. Decades > Days.

And I did not always see it this way.

There was a season when I was deep in comparison.

I worked at an organization where certain people were constantly traveling together. Big events. Big stages. Big opportunities. And I was not on those trips.

I remember feeling jealous.

I would watch them leave and think,

Why not me?

What am I missing?

What do they have that I do not?

What I did not realize at the time was how much energy I was burning thinking about them.

I was so focused on what they were doing that I was not fully present in what I had.

Comparison had capped me — not because anyone limited me, but because I was living in my head. I was draining creative energy analyzing their lane instead of building mine.

And it was killing my potential.

The shift did not happen overnight.

I did not suddenly get invited on every trip.

What changed was simpler and more powerful.

I decided to focus on adding value where I was.

Instead of asking why I was not included, I started asking:

How can I serve?

How can I strengthen the people around me?

How can I become undeniable in this role?

That changed everything.

I started seeing the impact I could make with what I already had.

I found purpose in the work right in front of me.

I built stronger relationships.

I collaborated instead of competed.

And ironically, opportunities began to open.

But by the time they did, something had shifted inside me.

It did not matter as much whether I traveled.

It did not matter whether I got the attention.

What mattered was that I was in a space where I could add value to other people.

That was freedom.

You see it with leaderboards too.

At first, you look and measure.

Who is ahead?

Why are they ahead?

What am I not doing?

It becomes a rabbit hole.

But now when I look at a leaderboard, I see something different.

I see a map of collaborators.

I ask:

What can I learn from them?

How can I add value to them?

The leaderboard is not just a scoreboard.

It is a place full of potential partnerships.

And that shift changes everything.

Collaboration is slower.

It is not flashy.

It is not a quick transaction.

It is the tortoise, not the hare.

But it builds something deeper.

When you collaborate, you are not just trying to win today.

You are becoming the type of person who wins over decades.

And you help others become who they are meant to be too.

So the next time you catch yourself comparing, pause.

Instead of asking,

How do I beat them?

Ask,

How could we build together?

How could we both grow?

Because when you make that shift, you are not just changing how you work.

You are changing who you become. 💯