Friends with a Competitor: Why I Choose Collaboration Over Fear
Most people avoid their competitors. I invited mine into a quarterly Zoom call.
What started as a simple feedback conversation turned into one of the most helpful and inspiring rhythms in my business and my growth as a founder.
I used to use a platform for my business that was extremely helpful when I was just starting out. I had searched for something like it for a long time but couldn’t find anything that fully fit what I needed—until this company came along.
They had everything I was looking for: the frontend, the backend, and the data-driven tools that helped me coach more effectively. But what really sold me wasn’t the features. It was a call with someone on their team who listened. Really listened.
He asked questions. He pointed me toward what mattered most based on how I was using it. That experience meant a lot to me, and over the next four years, that kind of care didn’t stop.
Every time I had a question, a feature request, or an issue, they responded with urgency and empathy. I didn’t feel like a customer. I felt like a partner.
At one point, they hit a major technical issue and the platform was down for a week. As frustrating as that was, they emailed quickly, kept us informed, and handled it with transparency. That’s when I realized something wild: the guy who had been helping me this whole time? The one I’d been emailing, calling, and troubleshooting with?
He wasn’t just on the support team. He was the CEO.
That kind of humility blew me away.
Eventually, I came to a crossroads. I was using multiple tools to bring my vision to life, and I realized I needed to build my own platform.
So I reached out to the CEO, told him I was stepping away, and thanked him. He asked if we could hop on a call just to get some feedback. We had a great conversation, and at the end I asked:
“Would you be open to hopping on a call once a quarter? I think we could learn a lot from each other.”
He said yes. And that’s what we’ve been doing ever since.
Now every few months, we jump on a call. He’s ahead of me in his journey, so I ask questions about the early stages of building an app. He asks me about new features and structures they’re considering and how I would approach them. It’s become one of my favorite rhythms. We challenge each other, ask real questions, and walk away sharper every time.
One conversation in particular gave me a wave of unexpected relief.
I asked him, “What was it like launching your app in year one? Did you see great success?”
He said, “It was terrible.”
That answer lifted so much pressure off me.
He went on to share the story of that first year—how there wasn’t some magic launch moment. No secret formula. Just a team staying focused, learning constantly, and building brick by brick. That reminder stuck with me.
A friend asked me recently, “Aren’t you scared he’s going to steal your ideas?”
Honestly, that didn’t even cross my mind. But I’m not worried about that.
I’m not competing with him. I’m competing with myself.
I want him to win. I want his company to grow, because when he gets better, it inspires me to get better too.
Let’s say he does use one of my ideas. So what? We’re all borrowing ideas in some form anyway. If anything, it’ll push me to be more creative, more thoughtful, and more innovative.
The market is massive. There’s room for great companies to coexist and raise the standard. That’s what makes the journey fun. That’s what makes me grateful I made the call. I didn’t leave it feeling threatened. I left it inspired and ready to get back to work.
Here’s why this has been so helpful for me:
It reminds me the world doesn’t revolve around my business.
When you collaborate with someone in your space, it forces you to zoom out. There are thousands of people building great things. That’s not something to fear—it’s something to celebrate.It’s more fulfilling to serve others than to serve your ego.
I don’t want to protect “my thing” so badly that I forget to be a generous human. Holding everything tightly makes you suspicious and defensive. That’s no way to live or lead.You need people outside your circle to make you better.
Competitors often see things your team doesn’t. They bring different approaches, perspectives, and experiences. That input is invaluable if you want to grow.
Does this open you up to potentially getting hurt? Yes.
But so does isolation. You risk more when you never take the risk. And in my experience, the reward is worth it.
Final Thought:
Don’t let fear of competition shrink your world.
Some of your greatest collaborators might be the people you once saw as threats.
Reach out. Ask questions. Be generous.
That mindset shift has changed everything for me.
When Talent Runs Out
I remember using my talent to wing a college graduation speech.
Two weeks before the ceremony, I found out the student body had voted for me to speak. I felt honored and confident. The speech would happen the night before graduation, and I told myself I didn’t need to overthink it. I figured I could spend about twenty minutes pulling it together, deliver it with passion and energy, and it would land.
Why wouldn’t it work?
It had worked so many times before.
I showed up for graduation weekend, took pictures, mingled with people, and then slipped away to prepare. On my way to find a quiet space, a faculty member stopped me and said,
“I can’t wait to hear your speech!”
Without hesitation, I said,
“It’s going to be fire.”
That sentence is still branded in my memory.
It was like I was saying, Watch this.
How embarrassing is that?
So much confidence. So little preparation.
I really thought passion would carry me. Again.
I found a room, grabbed some paper, and scribbled a few thoughts in about ten minutes. Then I stood in the mirror, rehearsing it for ten more, trying to inject energy and conviction. I had this idea that I’d make the graduating class stand up while I spoke directly to them. I just knew that would be the moment.
Then I gave the speech.
Fumbled a few words, but I got through it.
It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t great either.
I stood there afterward, waiting for compliments. I had even rehearsed my response:
“Thank you—I just wish I had more time to prepare.”
But the first person who walked up to me didn’t say any of that.
She looked me straight in the eye and said,
“Did you even prepare?”
Ouch.
I had no words, because she was right.
I didn’t.
I had leaned on talent. I winged an opportunity that deserved more. And the worst part? I almost excused it again.
It was just one speech.
But reflecting on it now has me thinking:
How many areas of life are we doing the same thing?
Leaning on talent. Avoiding the real work.
Telling ourselves it’ll be “good enough.”
Even when it isn’t.
My talented friends, you need to hear this.
At some point, we all hit a wall.
Talent runs out.
And when it does, you’ve got two options.
Make excuses.
Or grow.
So let’s talk about what it takes to grow when talent is no longer enough.
1. You Need a Purpose That Pulls You Forward
A lot of people hit their limits and assume that’s it. That this is as far as they go. But they’re not stuck—they’re just operating without a deeper reason.
A strong purpose pushes you. It adds weight to your decisions. It gives your growth a direction.
Ask yourself:
• What am I building?
• Who am I becoming?
• Why does it matter?
If your purpose doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.
2. Be Honest: Talent Isn’t Enough
You’ve got to admit it. The way you’ve always done things isn’t working like it used to.
Where are you coasting?
Where are you underprepared?
Where are you just getting by?
Until you’re honest with yourself, you’ll keep making excuses and calling it strategy.
You can’t grow until you get real.
3. Build Structure Around Your Purpose
Big dreams with no systems won’t get you far.
You need clarity. You need direction. You need a plan that’s actually doable.
Start here:
• Choose one goal that matters
• Add challenges that push you
• Lock in habits that keep you steady
• Set priorities that protect your focus
Don’t wait for motivation. Build the systems that move you even when you don’t feel like it.
4. Discipline is Not a Strategy. It’s a Decision.
There’s no shortcut. No perfect routine. No hack.
Discipline is what happens when you decide to show up. Again and again.
It’s what builds momentum when motivation fades.
It’s how you stay sharp when no one’s watching.
It’s how you develop consistency that actually lasts.
If you’ve been winging it lately, you already know it. And you also know it’s not working.
You don’t need another idea.
You need to show up.
5. Accept That Growth Takes Time
You will not see instant results.
You’ll feel stuck sometimes.
You’ll wonder if it’s working.
Keep going.
Some days, all you’ll do is revisit your purpose. That’s still growth.
You’re shaping how you think and how you respond. That matters.
Be patient with the process.
Not every win shows up fast—but the change is happening.
6. Stop Chasing Cheap Wins
If you’re chasing applause or the next adrenaline rush, you’ll always be reactive.
Cheap wins feel good, but they fade.
They don’t build depth. They don’t shape identity. They don’t prepare you for anything bigger.
Let go of the pressure to impress.
Focus on becoming someone solid.
7. Remind Yourself Who You Are Becoming
You will forget.
That’s why you need daily reminders.
Not of what you’re doing—but of who you’re becoming.
Read your purpose.
Revisit your vision.
Ask, “What would the future version of me choose right now?”
Stay connected to your identity.
It keeps your decisions aligned and your effort focused.
8. Grow Every Day
This is how you move forward.
Not all at once. Not when it’s convenient.
Every day.
Growth isn’t always loud. It’s not always exciting.
But when you stay consistent, it changes everything.
You won’t always feel it.
Some days it’ll feel like a step.
Other days like a stumble.
But keep going.
That’s the difference between people who rely on talent and people who build legacy.
You’re not chasing something. You’re becoming someone.
✍️ Reflect and Apply
Take 5 minutes and ask yourself:
• Where in your life are you still relying on talent instead of discipline?
• What’s one habit you can build this week that aligns with who you want to be?
• What would it look like to show up with full effort in the space you’ve been coasting?
👉 Next Step
Write your purpose down (if you need help, shoot me an email).
Put it where you’ll see it every day.
Read it out loud tomorrow morning.
If you’re serious about moving past your talent, start there.
Let that reminder shape how you show up. 💯
Why I Track My Growth Every Single Day
I’ve been tracking my growth daily since 2019. When most people hear that, it sounds exhausting to them, but for me, it’s been one of the most enjoyable, life-giving parts of my journey.
Tracking hasn’t just helped me stay organized. It’s made me more intentional with the things that actually matter in my life. I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on the kind of man I want to become, and I’m genuinely excited about becoming him. But that doesn’t happen overnight and it definitely doesn’t happen without consistent, intentional action.
A big part of my journey has been getting reps. Reps in my habits. Reps in my values. Reps in becoming.
I’ve adopted what I call a Grow Every Day Mindset. It means that when I reflect on my day, I want to be able to point to something, anything, that shows I’ve grown.
But I know growth can feel ambiguous, so let’s break it down.
What Is Growth, Really?
Growth is consistent improvement in how you think, talk, and take action.
How is your thinking changing?
Example: “I had a strong fixed mindset, but now I’m more growth-minded.”How is the way you talk with others changing?
Example: “I used to interrupt people a lot. Now I focus on active listening.”How is the way you take action changing?
Example: “I used to be reactive. Now I’m proactive.”
These shifts don’t just happen because you want them to. They happen when you get intentional reps in these areas, again and again. It’s a process that refines over time.
The Hard Part
The challenge is simple: unhealthy actions are easier to do, and healthy actions are harder.
If we’re lazy, we’ll fall into the easy stuff. But if we’re disciplined, we’ll commit to what actually grows us.
Reps That Align With My Values
One of my values is: “A healthy and active man.”
This year alone, I’ve already logged 1,193 reps in Growdie tied to Health & Fitness.
What kind of reps?
Weigh yourself - 183 reps
Track your food - 180 reps
Sit in the sauna 15min+ - 175 reps
Stretch for 10min+ - 172 reps
Workout for 30min+ - 152 reps
Sleep for 7+ hours - 144 reps
No fast food - 90 reps
These might seem small, but each one moves me closer to that man I’m becoming. The specific reps may change season to season, but the value—"a healthy and active man"—stays the same. It gives me a filter to evaluate my choices. I can always ask, “Does this help me become that man?”
Growth in Every Area
In Grow or Die, we have 7 focus areas, and I have a personal value statement for each one. I look at those values every single day.
They humble me.
They challenge me.
They remind me this is a lifetime pursuit and that I can’t grow alone.
Sure, I could do okay in one area by myself. But if I want to truly live well, I need the support of other growth-minded people. That’s what makes this journey worth it.
The Long Game
What finally clicked for me is this:
This is MY growth journey.
I’m not competing with anyone else. I’m competing with who I was yesterday.
At the end of the day, I don’t “arrive” at my values.
I live them, one day at a time.
And the most satisfying thing to me?
Finishing my life well.
That starts now with a simple, daily commitment:
Grow Every Day. 💯
The Struggle (and Joy) of Building What Last
We live in a culture that doesn’t stick with things.
We bounce from job to job, hobby to hobby, relationship to relationship. We start fast, fade faster, and rarely finish what we begin.
The stats prove it:
• 43% of people abandon their goals within one month.
• The average adult changes jobs every 1.7 years.
• Only 8% of people actually follow through on their long-term goals.
The reality is, anything worth keeping takes time to build.
Whether it’s your body, your character, your relationships, or your finances, it won’t last if you don’t build it with intention.
The 7 Areas of Growth
These are the 7 focus areas I believe make up a healthy, fulfilling, purpose-driven life.
In each one, here’s what lasting health looks like and what it actually takes to build it.
1. Personal Development
Expanding your knowledge, living by your values, and learning continuously.
What lasting health looks like:
• Clear identity and strong values
• Lifelong learning and personal awareness
• Courage to grow beyond your comfort zone
What it takes:
• Reading, studying, and teaching
• Seeking feedback instead of praise
• Living aligned with what you say matters
2. Professional Development
Improving skills, networking, learning new roles, exploring business ideas, and finding ways to earn more.
What lasting health looks like:
• Work that challenges and grows you
• A skillset that compounds over time
• Income tied to value creation, not just time
What it takes:
• Choosing mastery over multitasking
• Investing in learning beyond what’s required
• Taking ownership of your path, not waiting to be picked
3. People Development
Building meaningful relationships by listening, learning from others, and adding value.
What lasting health looks like:
• Deep, consistent, and trust-filled connections
• Healthy conflict, not passive silence
• Relationships that make you better
What it takes:
• Being present and curious
• Asking real questions
• Adding value without keeping score
4. Play/Experiential Learning
Learning through play, experiences, senses, creativity, and innovation.
What lasting health looks like:
• A life full of stories, not just schedules
• Creativity that keeps you alive
• Memories that sharpen your identity
What it takes:
• Saying yes to new things
• Leaving room for adventure and unstructured time
• Letting go of outcomes and trying things just for joy
5. Health & Fitness
Improving life through exercise, nutrition, and healthy choices.
What lasting health looks like:
• A body that can support your dreams and goals
• Energy to show up fully
• Resilience through life’s ups and downs
What it takes:
• Moving daily, not occasionally
• Choosing whole foods over convenience
• Treating your body like an asset, not an afterthought
6. Financial Health
Managing finances to meet needs and goals through income, budgeting, saving, investing, and planning.
What lasting health looks like:
• Margin, not just money
• Freedom to say yes to what matters
• A future that’s not ruled by stress
What it takes:
• Budgeting and tracking honestly
• Saving and investing early
• Living with intention, not comparison
7. Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual Health
Living a mindful and fulfilling life by enhancing cognitive skills, building emotional intelligence, and discovering life’s purpose and meaning.
What lasting health looks like:
• A grounded sense of identity
• Emotional control under pressure
• Peace that’s not based on circumstances
What it takes:
• Practicing stillness, prayer, and meditation
• Facing your wounds, not avoiding them
• Connecting with something bigger than yourself
There’s Always More to Build
The people who build something that lasts aren’t the loudest. They’re the ones who keep showing up.
Not perfectly. Just consistently.
You don’t need to rush. You need to commit.
Because a life you’re proud of won’t happen by accident, it gets built day by day, brick by brick, decision by decision.
Most people quit.
Builders finish. 💯
They’re Stealing Your Reps: How Content Consumption is Replacing Real Growth
We live in a world flooded with content. Podcasts, YouTube, Reels, sermons, newsletters, Netflix, TikTok. You name it, it’s available 24/7. And while some of it is helpful, even inspiring, here’s the problem:
We’re getting better at watching.
Not better at doing.
We’re consuming more than ever, but growing less than we think. Watching someone else lead, perform, speak, or train doesn’t make you better. It makes you feel like you’re improving. But feeling busy isn’t the same thing as building something.
And slowly, the reps you need to become the leader you’re called to be are slipping away. One scroll at a time.
The Numbers Don’t Lie
The average adult spends 2.5 hours a day on social media. That’s over 900 hours a year. That’s 38 full days. Gone.
Add streaming, and it jumps to over 60 days a year (two full months) just watching stuff.
That’s two months you could’ve been building something. Practicing something. Leading something. But it’s gone. And you can’t get it back.
Leadership is Built in the Reps
You don’t become a better communicator by watching TED Talks.
You get better by speaking.
You don’t get emotionally stronger by scrolling self-help clips.
You grow by doing hard things, reflecting, and being honest.
You don’t become a better leader by following influencers.
You become one by leading when it’s hard, showing up when you don’t feel like it, and owning the results.
That’s how real growth works.
And it always takes more than just consuming good content.
Change the Story
Start asking better questions:
• What skill am I actually building right now?
• What reps did I get in today?
• Am I creating or just consuming?
• Am I becoming the kind of person I’d want to follow?
If you want to go deeper, here are a few books worth your time:
1. Deep Work by Cal Newport — Learn how to focus again. This one will challenge how you work.
2. Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport — Shows how to take your time and attention back.
3. Atomic Habits by James Clear — Not about hype. About small consistent actions that actually change your life.
4. The Shallows by Nicholas Carr — Your brain is being rewired. This explains how.
5. Irresistible by Nicholas Carr — This breaks down why tech and content are so addictive and what you can do about it.
The truth is, we’re not too busy.
We’re just not being honest about how we use our time.
Social media and streaming aren’t just distractions. They’re stealing your leadership reps.
Stop giving your growth away to someone else’s algorithm.
Own your time.
Protect your reps.
And do the work that actually makes you better. 💯
Cheap Dopamine Is Wrecking Your Growth
Some of us are living on a shaky foundation.
Every day looks different. There’s no rhythm, no core structure.
And if we’re honest, the most consistent things in our day are pulling us in the wrong direction:
• Scrolling social media
• Binge-watching shows
• Excessive gaming
• Pornography
• Gossipping
None of those things move you forward.
They’re cheap dopamine, easy hits that slowly rob your purpose.
We all want to lead better—teams, families, communities. But you can’t lead others well if you can’t lead yourself first.
That starts with what you do daily.
Your Habits Tell the Truth
Don’t tell me you love learning if you haven’t read anything in years.
Don’t say health matters to you when your food choices say otherwise.
Your habits reveal your real priorities.
Not your goals. Not your good intentions.
What you actually do.
If your habits are weak, your foundation is weak.
And when pressure comes, you won’t stand.
Start With Your Mornings
If you want to build a solid foundation, start with the first part of your day.
Pick 1 habit you can imagine doing for the next decade.
Here’s my current morning routine:
• 📖 Bible reading
• 🙏 Prayer
• 📚 Read 5 pages in a book
• 🧭 Read my personal/professional vision
• 📝 Journal
• 🗓 Write down top 3 priorities + plan my day
• 🧘 Stretch
• 🏋️ Workout
I didn’t start with all of this. I began with just working out. Over time, I added what mattered most.
These habits keep me grounded, especially when life gets hard.
Build a Foundation That Lasts
Leadership isn’t about big moments.
It’s about the boring, consistent ones.
The small, daily actions that help you stay:
• Rooted in purpose
• Clear on direction
• Steady in chaos
Here’s Your Challenge
✅ Choose 1 habit that reflect who you want to be
✅ Do it every morning for the next 30 days
✅ Refine it over time, but don’t abandon it
One strong day leads to another. And that’s how you build a life that can withstand almost anything. 💯
The Best Competition Is with the Person in the Mirror
One of the Fastest Ways to Stall Growth
I’ve seen it in myself. I’ve seen it in others.
One of the fastest ways to stall your growth is to obsess over what other people are doing.
When you start by competing with others, it hijacks your focus. You fixate on their pace, their milestones, their timeline, and somewhere in the process, you lose sight of your own.
And when you finally catch them? You stop.
Or worse, when you realize you can’t catch them? You quit.
That’s not real growth.
That’s chasing shadows.
Compete with Yourself First
When you compete with yourself, the rules change. You’re not driven by insecurity. You’re fueled by curiosity and commitment. You’re not trying to win someone else’s race. You’re trying to grow into the person you know you can be.
Here’s the difference:
Competing with others – you’re trying to be like them
Competing with yourself – you’re trying to become the best version of you
Competing with others – has an end date
Competing with yourself – never ends
Competing with others – creates shallow wins
Competing with yourself – builds deep roots
Competition Isn’t Bad. It’s Just Can’t Be the Base
I love competition. It’s fun. It stretches you.
But it can’t be your primary strategy for growth. If it is, you’ll burn out, plateau, or start cutting corners just to keep up appearances.
The most sustainable competitors are the ones who compete with themselves first, then use the people around them as fuel—not the finish line.
How to Compete with Yourself (and Use That to Compete Better with Others)
1. Track Your Progress
Don’t just guess how you’re doing. Log it. Whether it’s habits, workouts, journaling, or time spent on goals, tracking gives you real data to beat.
2. Set Personal Records, Not Just Goals
Think like an athlete. What’s your PR for consistency? For discipline? For patience under pressure?
3. Review Your Growth Weekly
Take 10 minutes each week to ask: Where did I grow? Where did I get stuck? What’s one way I can outdo last week’s version of me?
4. Use Others as Inspiration, Not the Standard
Watch others to learn, not to compare. If someone’s ahead of you, study them, but don’t abandon your path trying to walk theirs.
5. Celebrate Quiet Wins
Not all growth is visible. Don’t underestimate the small victories, especially the ones no one else sees. That’s where self-competition wins.
Final Thought
The race isn’t out there. It’s in here.
You don’t need to run their race.
You need to run yours with full focus, honest measurement, and a relentless desire to outgrow the person you were yesterday.
That’s how you stay in the game for the long haul. 💯
Bring Boredom Back!
I’m not great at being bored.
I’m either in motion doing something productive… or doing something that just keeps me busy.
But choosing boredom is hard for me.
And yet, I remember being a kid and saying those three words that used to drive adults crazy: “I’m so bored.”
Back then, I didn’t feel the pressure to do something. I didn’t feel the need to scroll, produce, optimize, or consume. Staring at the ceiling, playing with dust particles in the sun, or daydreaming about nothing was enough.
Somewhere along the way, I lost that.
I traded boredom for busyness. Stillness for stimulation.
And I think I’ve lost something sacred in the process.
The Gift of Boredom
Here’s the paradox: boredom feels like nothing… but it gives birth to everything.
Creativity is born in boredom.
Self-awareness rises in stillness.
Clarity, healing, insight, all of it bubbles up when we stop trying to fill every gap with noise.
The brain needs pauses. You can’t hear your intuition when it’s drowned out by podcasts, playlists, or productivity hacks. And you can’t grow deeper if you’re always reaching outward.
That’s why I want to bring boredom back. Not by accident, but on purpose.
Because I know I need it in this season.
What Happens When You Stop Filling Every Moment?
Try this: Sit in silence for 5 minutes. No phone. No music. No multitasking.
You’ll notice your brain fidgeting at first. Reaching for something. That’s the withdrawal from overstimulation.
But give it a little time.
Soon, thoughts settle. Breathing slows. And the things that really matter start to rise to the surface.
Simple Ways to Practice Embracing Boredom
If this feels uncomfortable for you (like it does for me), here are some simple starting points:
1. Schedule Nothing
Block 15 minutes in your day for “boredom.” Don’t fill it. Let it stay empty. Watch what happens.
2. Walk Without a Destination
Leave the AirPods at home. Don’t track steps. Just walk and notice your surroundings.
3. Stare at the Ceiling
Seriously. Try laying down for 10 minutes and doing absolutely nothing. Let your thoughts wander. It’s not wasted time, it’s decompression.
4. Turn Off the “Noise Apps”
Pick an hour each day where you don’t touch social media, streaming, or YouTube. Let your mind find its own entertainment.
5. Ask a Bigger Question
When you’re bored, ask yourself:
What have I been avoiding thinking about?
Let boredom become a space of reflection.
Final Thought
The modern world trains us to believe that every second must be filled. But real growth isn’t always fast-paced or loud. Sometimes, it’s quiet. Slow. Boring.
And maybe that’s the challenge for this season:
To be okay with the quiet.
To welcome the boredom.
To let the stillness do its work.
Because if we keep running from boredom, we might miss the breakthrough hiding inside of it. 💯
Story: How my 6-year old habit is still going strong 💪
Building a habit is not a quick fix. It is a journey, one filled with trial and error, adjustments, and a whole lot of patience. I have learned that the way we think about habits shapes the way we build them. If you are frustrated that a habit has not stuck yet, read this slowly. It might change your perspective.
1. A habit starts as an idea.
Every habit begins as just a thought, an impulse, a spark, or a casual intention. You might say, “I want to eat better.” But at this point, it is not serious. It is just an idea floating around in your head.
And that is okay. Every habit has to start somewhere. But if you do not give that idea some weight, it will fade.
My Story: Part 1
In January 2016, I tried to start stretching. I told myself I would do 15 minutes a day. I did it once and quit. It was not part of any system. I did not have a plan, I just had an idea. And like most ideas, it did not last long.
2. The idea becomes a priority.
I call it a priority at this stage because it is not a habit yet. It is just something you are choosing to care about. But that priority is going to get tested. If you are struggling to do it consistently, do not just beat yourself up. Ask better questions: Is this really a priority for me? Or am I trying to jump too far ahead of where I am right now? Sometimes we are too ambitious. Sometimes we need to slow down to build up.
My Story: Part 2
At the end of 2016, I built some consistency with my workouts, so I thought, “Let me try stretching again.” But once again, it did not really stick. In 2017, my roommate introduced me to ROMWOD (now Playability), and I liked it. It was guided, simple, and easy to follow. I finally started stretching more and began prioritizing it in my day. The only challenge was that it depended on my roommate. I only did it with him because he had the login. So even though it had become a priority, it was still weak. I needed someone else’s momentum to keep me going.
3. The priority is placed into a routine.
Even if your priority is solid, it needs a routine it can thrive in. If after 30 days you are still feeling constant resistance, it is not that you are weak. It might mean your setup is off. Shrink the habit. Change the time of day. Adjust your environment. The goal is not just to keep doing it. The goal is to build a routine that supports who you want to be.
My Story: Part 3
Later that year, I started reading and learning about how habits actually work. Things like habit stacking, identity, triggers, and friction. That is when it clicked. I started linking stretching to my workouts. It made sense: “If I am already working out, why not stretch before or after?” That shift helped me build it into my flow. I was still inconsistent, but I was finally getting reps in.
4. The priority becomes a habit.
Once your priority becomes automatic, you have got a habit. But that is not the finish line. Now life will test it. You will get busy. You will travel. You will get sick. You will forget. And that is okay. The real question is: What do you do when you miss a day? Habits are not about perfection. They are about resilience. You are not building a perfect streak. You are building a new identity. So show up again. That is where the real power is.
My Story: Part 4
In 2019, I read Can’t Hurt Me by: David Goggins. His story challenged me. He talked about the pain he experienced from not taking care of his body, from not stretching. It hit different. So I made one small change that changed everything. I told myself: “From now on, I will not work out until I stretch.” That one shift locked it in. Since then, I have stretched consistently for over six years. I have missed days, but I always come back.
5. The habit changes you.
This is the part most people miss. Habits do not just change your schedule, they change you. They change how you think, how you talk, how you carry yourself. That is why vision is so important. If you do not have a clear picture of who you are becoming, the habit will always feel random. But if the habit is tied to a bigger purpose, it has staying power.
My Story: Part 5
Stretching now is not just about flexibility. It is a mindset. It is a reminder that I value recovery, health, and longevity. It is part of how I lead myself well. That habit did not just change my routine. It changed how I see myself. And it taught me that habit building is never about doing it perfectly. It is about becoming someone different through the process.
The truth is, habit building is a journey.
It does not happen overnight. It is not always pretty. But when we stop obsessing over results and start focusing on growth, something changes. We stop trying to prove something and start becoming someone. That is the win.
So if you are trying to build a habit, do not just chase the streak. Chase the shift. Let the habit change how you think, how you move, and how you show up in the world.
That is how you build a habit that sticks. 💯
The Difference Between Helping People and Carrying Them
We all want to help people. That’s what leadership is: service, support, and sacrifice. But somewhere along the way, a lot of leaders confuse helping with carrying.
Helping someone means you meet them where they are, but you don’t stay there for them.
Carrying someone means you take responsibility for their growth. And that’s not leadership. That’s enablement.
Nineteen and Naive
When I was 19, I tried to help someone who had a drug problem. I had never struggled with drug use, so I felt confident, almost proud, to step in. If I’m being honest, I truly thought I was going to help him change.
I had this dream in my head. I’d help him, people would see the fruit, and I’d prove what a good leader I was. So I went all in. Success at all costs.
I let him live with me.
I helped him get a job.
I held him accountable.
But deep down, I was more focused on changing his behavior than on helping him experience the internal change he actually needed.
And for a while, it looked like it was working. Until the environment I built for him to win started to crumble.
The Hard Truth: You Can’t Want It More Than They Do
The truth?
I wanted him to grow more than he wanted to grow.
And that will never work.
That season taught me something I still carry today.
Growth takes time.
And I don’t have to see the end results in someone’s journey to have made a difference.
I can be content with just being a part of it.
That shift has helped me set boundaries, give people space to struggle, and stay ready for the lightbulb moments when they want to grow.
Because if we make leadership about us, we already lost.
Helping people means challenging them to own their part.
It means setting the table, not forcing them to eat.
It means believing in them without needing to be the hero.
From Applause to Impact
Growing for yourself is just the start of the journey.
Giving back to others without carrying them is where leadership gets really fun.
So don’t settle for applause.
Strive for impact. 💯